so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We are all done wearing pants today
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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