Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
