My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
