i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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