I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
