go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
