I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
