it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
