You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
