singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
