I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
