I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
