Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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