this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
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