If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
