We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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