I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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