Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
