I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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