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You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
