So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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