Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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