no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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