Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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