I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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