Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
