fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize