So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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