Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Randomize
