btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
