She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize