I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
