they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
