Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
