why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
