I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
