jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i was born a porn star she said
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
