took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
