I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
there is glitter all over my balls
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