I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize