I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
