Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
