You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
