He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
