Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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