suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
