My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Never underestimate the power of titties
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
