Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
