I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
