me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He better not be in your backpack
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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