It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
