He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
