alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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