You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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