i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize