Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
