I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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