his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
