im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
