She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
